Unwriteable material can mean many different things
depending on whomever you ask. For myself, my personal experiences as of the
past few years have not been noteworthy. They have been the worst years of my
life and because I have such intense feelings about this, some things about my
life I will adamantly and vehemently refuse to write about. It is not as much
painful for me as it is a “kill-joy” for others to read or hear of and it is
this reason that I find it really hard to discuss.
I think of myself first, what it does to me to relive
certain points in my life. Secondly, I think of the negative impact it
impresses upon my family to feel the pains that I do and lastly, it brings
other people down and make them display pity for me and this makes me feel even
worse.
Because I use these filters when I write, I am aware of some
ambiguities I have with my reserve for writing about such things. I do not
believe they reshape them but they definitely make me conscious. I guess my
fear is the vulnerability I feel and it is not something I enjoy embracing.
The only thing I may consider revisiting (spending some time
with) is violence, just to bring awareness to the aftermath and lingering
effects it leaves behind.
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